Mommyhood and the Mean Girl Culture

Hello! It has been over two years since my last post…time has surely gotten away from me as I have begun the journey of becoming a mom. Now that I have a most beautiful 17 month old, Logan, and am pregnant with my second, I wanted to share some things that have been haunting my thoughts in the wee hours of the morning. While some of these thoughts are not new, they hit me like a freight train in the middle of the night last night. I was up because: 1. I always get up to pee because, well that's what you do when you are pregnant, and 2. I couldn't breathe because I have a cold and have to rely on home remedies i.e. lots of steam, neti potting, humidifier blasting cool mist which soaks my sheets more than anything else, and prayer to get rid of the congestion. Good times. Anyway, I was thinking about my little one in my belly and wondering if the babe is going to be a girl (I think it is…I will find out in a couple of weeks). If this child is a girl, I just imagine the things she will have to endure within our culture. Let's face it, girl culture has been the same for as long as the human race has been around, of that I am sure. But it seems to be getting worse because of reality TV and social media. I don't want my little girl (or boy) to have to put up with mean girls. I know I did, and I survived, but it is no fun. Sometimes the sweet, nice girls becomes a mean girl because she is friends with her. I know I did, and I survived. I know I can still be a mean girl, and I hate that part of me. It is ugly and usually fueled by contempt, jealousy, lack of understanding of a person, and prejudice. Ew. All of those things are not qualities I want my children to see in me…ever! What brought on these thoughts of the "Mean Girl Culture" was the simple fact that I was watching the Women Tell All episode of the Bachelor. I am blushing with shame as I reveal that I watch this ridiculous show. Every season, they have this episode to reveal the "truth" behind all the drama, with the women accusing one another of bad behavior, and with all of them shedding tears, shaking heads in disbelief, and lots of rude eye rolling. And for what? A guy? Is that where their self worth lies? And is their self worth further elevated by tearing down the girls that the rest of them don't like? Do they feel better about themselves for saying nasty things and pointing fingers and not listening when someone is trying to apologize? Mean. They were all mean last night, and all season long. And mommyhood can also be just as mean. It has become a subculture of the overarching Mean Girl category. We compare and contrast, seeing who does things better than the next mom, and I know I have fallen into this as well. I am not proud, but the more I realize I am doing it, the more I want God to change my heart. I want to be the type of mom who accepts everyone and loves them right where they are, to encourage and not tear down. I want to be a mom who lends a helping hand or offers soft advice or prays for those who need it. I want to be a mom that would make my Father in heaven proud. I don't want ugly behavior to show up when I feel threatened by another mom, because what would I be teaching my children? That is not what being the light of the world or salt of the earth, you know, the kind Jesus talked about us becoming, looks like. So while watching the Bachelor has never been an edifying experience for me, it did teach me a good lesson last night. Being a mean girl means being an ugly one. It means not being a good friend, mom, or person. And above all, I want my self-worth to be based on how God views me and not through the means of tearing others down.